Lingerie

What are the differences between lingeries and bikinis? The garments seem to be almost identical yet to see an unfamiliar woman in a bikini would be considered typical, but to see an unfamiliar woman in lingerie comes with a myriad of thoughts, views, and opinions. Of course it is incredibly stigmatized and it is all about the social concepts, but there is a certain kind of undeniable vulnerability associated with lingerie. Bikinis were intended to be shown in social settings whilst undergarments… not so much… and that makes all the difference. Lingerie combines the beauty and strength of a woman in one outfit. For some this kind of garment allows for the embodiment of sensuality, femininity, and softness. Whilst for others, it can be a great sign of sex appeal, power, and resilience. Certainly any combination of adjectives applies as well, but the core of it is how transformative such a garment can be to one’s persona; the increase of self esteem, self love, and desire seem to be common results as well. Wearing lingerie for oneself is no less powerful than wearing lingerie for another. As similar as beach wear and undergarments can be, they are not… because lingerie is so much more special. 

The clear media was intended to parallel the openness, and vulnerability one often feels whilst wearing lingerie. The thick paint and texture was intended to juxtapose those elements. 

*Paintings were photographed on a white background.

Glasses

This series initially started as something else, but after completing two of the intended nine paintings, I was staring at the half-done third piece and thought about how much I did not want to keep going. Sometimes I have ideas for paintings and whatever the cause might be, there are times when artworks simply do not work out. When I spend time and art materials creating a piece, it is ultimately to some degree painful to have to tear it apart. As an artist, there are often times when I find myself at a crossroads: even though I have my doubts about the piece or series, do I push through and continue or do I scrap it and start over? That is the ultimate decision. Regardless of the path I choose to take, I have already invested a part of myself in that piece.

This painting series is comprised of self portraits in which I wear different glasses. When I started this series the need for change was overwhelming. I needed to change my idea, I needed to change my approach, and I needed to change my references. It is hard to let go. It is hard to look at something you're trying to create and think, "this sucks." It is hard to tear up the art and start over. To move on to bigger and better things, you have to listen to your gut shouting at you, "this is not working," and you have to move on. Tear up the papers, sand down the painting, destroy the sculpture, and move on. Allowing the wood to be visible was a deliberate choice as there is always an aspect of vulnerability and transparency in self portraiture. This series is about growth, change, and the strength and courage that come along with having to start over. 

Shower

The shower is often viewed as the one place and time during which a person can get a break from the chaos of life. Standing under the stream, the calming properties of water and the white noise created by the water hitting the tile, seems to wash away worries, even for a short while. The shower is the one place to think of everything- or nothing. It is the one time during which there are no expectations of how to be or people to impress. There is the ability to disintegrate the struggles of the day, embrace the peace of the moment, and appreciate life. You can be vulnerable yet still feel safe, exposed but still private. The shower is the time when you can unapologetically break down but also build yourself back up. Shower is a five painting series which explores the meditative and healing properties of water as well as the emotional, mental, and physical benefits that come along with taking a shower. 

Hindsight

The question, “Who are you?” is one I excessively ponder. When I think about my life and who I am, the cultural details come to the forefront of my mind, but as I dig deeper into the details which make me an individual, it is hard to ignore the fact that for over a decade of my young life depression immensely contributed to who and why I am the way I am. My art is a complete parallel to the pains, joys, and experiences I have endured. With my painting series I am trying to depict the feelings that nobody sees, memory loss, and mental insecurity. This series is about myself, my experience with mental anguish, and my way of saying the words I wish someone told me when I was younger.

My goal is to share a sliver of my personal experiences with depression, a war I have been fighting for years. The mental battles fought every day are not always physically manifesting themselves for the world to see and a very limited number of people know what I constantly deal with. We are the way we are for a multitude reasons and perhaps battling depression from the ripe age of 11 has paved the way for my experiences and decisions. I am going to pursue art therapy as it is the field which would allow my fascination with psychology as well as art to continue to flourish. My own artwork is something I do not plan to give up, but a life path I plan to walk alongside helping others through artistic expression.

Puzzles

Puzzles is a series of paintings in which I explored a more abstract mark-making in combination with representational imagery. For this series, I incorporated old, personal photographs and focused on the relationships between the people in the photographs. Using fluorescent oil sticks, I drew out my images and worked with the shapes that were formed (and left) in the sketching process. The bright colors were meant to resemble childhood and the scribble drawings that children often do. 

Finding My Madame X

Finding My Madame X is a triptych greatly inspired by John Singer Sargent's infamous Madame X painting which is on display at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. This piece started off as a four painting series about desire but through the process, I discovered my desire to explore very subtle ways of displaying sexiness, vulnerability, and longing. This piece is symbolic of the tough journey I went through to overcome major mishaps and traumatic times in my life because it was such a struggle to get this painting to this final state. 

Bundled

Bundled  is a collection of paintings that were based on photos from my childhood. I was inspired by the ridiculous outfits that my parents bundled me in and just how much of my early life I have forgotten. I believe it is important sometimes to appreciate the moment rather than trying to photograph it to appreciate it later, but in the same breath I can say that having photographs for your memory to fall back on makes the inevitable forgetting a little bit easier to swallow. When I was only a couple years old, my parents would occasionally take me and my older brother to Prospect Park to feed the ducks. I have combined the feelings memories give with the motifs of the ducks, the bulky outfits I was forced to wear, and imagery from old photographs to create each painting.

Verrazano Bridge

Verrazano Bridge is a three-piece series of studies depicting Brooklyn's Verrazano Bridge at different times of  the day.