Matryoshka
(Russian Nesting Doll)

The Matryoshka, also known as Russian Nesting Dolls, are a well known symbol of femininity and motherhood. They were created in 1890 by a wood carver named Vasily Zvyozdochin  based on a design by Sergey Malyutin. As I am of Russian-Jewish descent, this wooden figure was one I was introduced to as a small child and a symbol I am very familiar with.  I was inspired by my self portrait to create my own set of Matryoshka dolls as a way of paying homage to my heritage.

I wanted each wooden doll to be unique on its own, as well as appear cohesive with the rest of the series. Purple happens to be my favorite color and I wanted the dolls to embody varying shades of the hue.

Boudoir

Boudoir was created as a sister series to Lingerie. I was inspired to expand upon my previous ideas to highlight the beauty of a woman and her ability to believe in her body and mind. Strength from within and a powerful sense of self are not common to everyone. Lack of self esteem and an absence of internal satisfaction can impact the choices we make, the relationships we surround ourselves with, and the love that we deem acceptable to receive. As much as it is vital to accept yourself as you are, it is just as important to strive to be better and never stop growing. This series is a love letter to myself, a reminder to keep my head above water... to believe in my abilities and my strength... to believe in love and miracles... to believe in the universe and the power of a woman. 

What are the differences between lingeries and bikinis? The garments seem to be almost identical yet to see an unfamiliar woman in a bikini would be considered typical, but to see an unfamiliar woman in lingerie comes with a myriad of thoughts, views, and opinions. Of course it is incredibly stigmatized and it is all about the social concepts, but there is a certain kind of undeniable vulnerability associated with lingerie. Bikinis were intended to be shown in social settings whilst undergarments… not so much… and that makes all the difference. Lingerie combines the beauty and strength of a woman in one outfit. For some this kind of garment allows for the embodiment of sensuality, femininity, and softness. Whilst for others, it can be a great sign of sex appeal, power, and resilience. Certainly any combination of adjectives applies as well, but the core of it is how transformative such a garment can be to one’s persona; the increase of self esteem, self love, and desire seem to be common results as well. Wearing lingerie for oneself is no less powerful than wearing lingerie for another. As similar as beach wear and undergarments can be, they are not… because lingerie is so much more special. 

The clear media was intended to parallel the openness, and vulnerability one often feels whilst wearing lingerie. The thick paint and texture was intended to juxtapose those elements. 

*Paintings were photographed on a white background.

Adolescence

Art therapy is a field which combines art and psychotherapy in a unique experience intended to aid in healing, provide support, or further insight for an individual. Through my studies in art therapy came about Adolescence, a series about the various aspects of this namesake turmoil-filled time in one's life. Combining mixed media elements with painting and drawing allowed me to explore my ideas and themes beyond the confines of only one tool. 

This series initially started as something else, but after completing two of the intended nine paintings, I was staring at the half-done third piece and thought about how much I did not want to keep going. Sometimes I have ideas for paintings and whatever the cause might be, there are times when artworks simply do not work out. When I spend time and art materials creating a piece, it is ultimately to some degree painful to have to tear it apart. As an artist, there are often times when I find myself at a crossroads: even though I have my doubts about the piece or series, do I push through and continue or do I scrap it and start over? That is the ultimate decision. Regardless of the path I choose to take, I have already invested a part of myself in that piece.

This painting series is comprised of self portraits in which I wear different glasses. When I started this series the need for change was overwhelming. I needed to change my idea, I needed to change my approach, and I needed to change my references. It is hard to let go. It is hard to look at something you're trying to create and think, "this sucks." It is hard to tear up the art and start over. To move on to bigger and better things, you have to listen to your gut shouting at you, "this is not working," and you have to move on. Tear up the papers, sand down the painting, destroy the sculpture, and move on. Allowing the wood to be visible was a deliberate choice as there is always an aspect of vulnerability and transparency in self portraiture. This series is about growth, change, and the strength and courage that come along with having to start over.